Hardship in acceptance...

I think the most difficult thing for me to do is to accept the fact that there is a problem. I have hopes that if I return to the doctors one day, they will just tell me that all the findings are all normal and nothing to worry about. But I’m just giving myself false hopes. How will I move on to the stage of recovery if I will not be able to accept the truth that there is a problem happening in my tummy and I have to take some actions. Maybe for now, nothing I can do but at least, I have to do something to prepare myself and the baby for the time of delivery.

I started opening to friends and began asking questions about the baby’s condition. They are not all experts but at least, they can give me pieces of advice and words of encouragement. I am glad I have very good friends like Precy and Dang who can share their time with me. I don’t want to bother them at all but they are there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on. I have told them about my guilts, my worries, my frights and my plans. They have not been judgemental, yet they have been so patient listening to my stories even if I say the same thing over and over again.

I have used the power of Facebook to let people know how frightened I am to face the reality. I don’t want their sympathy nor their pity, but all I want is their understanding and words of comfort to make me stronger day by day. I have sent messages to friends asking for their prayers and they all responded granting my request. I have enough words from friends and I know that they will always be there for me. I have seen their tears and I have felt their concerns. And for me, that is more than enough.

Footprint in the Sand

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

 http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm