Another visit to the hospital, but this time, it’s not because of an illness. I am scheduled to have my 20th week ultrasound scan in the ante-natal unit. It was 8am, quite early for me but I’m not bothered because this is our deciding point on what to name our little baby. My husband chose pretty names for a boy and a girl. We’re thinking of names with an “L” to match big sister’s name, Lianne.
I was called to room for my scan. I rushed myself to the examination bed and waited for this cold gel to land in my tummy. I was watching the monitor when the lady started scrolling her instrument on the top of my belly. I can’t feel any discomfort while watching my little baby moves. My husband is quietly smiling and watching while on his seat. I remember the lady saying that head is ok, thighs are ok, and hands are seen, bladders and kidneys are also normal. She was saying that she cannot see the heart clearly, maybe because I haven’t drank enough water. So she kept coming back on the same spot several times. But it seems never ending checks. I started to wonder what seems happening. I was keeping my fingers crossed.
The sad news
A sad news was revealed. The lady looked at me and said, “Sorry it takes long to do this, it looks like there is a bit of a problem and I cannot see the baby’s heart”. What!!! But I was speechless. I would like to rattle her with questions but I’d rather give her a chance to speak. After some more checks, she explained to me that it looks like that the baby has a DIAPHRAGMATIC HERNIA and she will ask her colleague to double check it for her. I haven’t heard of that certain term before. I am in a medical profession but this case doesn’t sound familiar to me. I know what hernia is, but diaphragmatic hernia…no idea all. A senior sonographer came in the room and did the same thing again. I can’t think anymore. I was numb and helpless. All I can do is to wait. The same news was confirmed to me by the second lady. She tried to explain the findings to me using simple terms that I can easily understand. It sounds like a very serious problem and very unusual. The only thing I managed to ask is, “What is the chance of survival while the baby is in the womb?”, They both told me that the pregnancy is going to continue as normal but I will be referred to a specialist midwife after the scan. I have also asked if they have encountered the same thing like mine, they replied that they have 1 case in 2 years. What? 1 in 2 years? I can’t cry that time. No chance for me to cry as my mind is trying to think too fast.
Instead of the excitement in picking names for our little baby boy, my husband and I remains quiet and just watching the time to see the next person. I can’t comment while waiting to be called by the midwife. I was just holding on my husband’s hands and keep asking myself repeatedly what seem happening. I was hoping that nothing is serious, but at the back of my mind, I felt so distressed. I started asking the guidance of the almighty Father while waiting to be called. The midwife told me that I will be referred to a specialist consultant called Foetal medicine in the other hospital. She told me that they deal with special cases like mine. I started to understand that my baby’s case is not one of the common ones. And I don’t know what to think from there.
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